The Sausage Maker's Daughters by A.G.S. Johnson
Author:A.G.S. Johnson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: murder, murder mystery, courtroom drama, feminism, siblings, 60s, fathers daughters, sibling rivalry, counterculture, murder trial, antiwar movement
Publisher: A.G.S. Johnson
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Phil broke the silence relating that escapade had induced in my cell, commenting, âSo many causes, Kip.â
âAnd all worthy,â I exclaimed, my defensive retort surprising even me.
âCertainly, but ... whatâs that about, do you suppose?â
âI have no idea what you mean, Phil.â I glared at her and William both. Right, so why did I sound so pissed off? âOh all right, at the risk of sounding pathetically idealistic, I wanted to make a difference, leave the world better than I found it. I still do.â
âI admire that in you, Kip,â Phil added.
âBut what?â I demanded.
âIt just occurs to me, listening to you, that all your work for all those good causes may have filled some need in you, too.â
I had a hard time maintaining eye contact with Phil, and William, who was smoldering over something, was no easier. I glanced about, stammering, âI-I donât ... I-Iâm notââ
âItâs not a criticism,â Phil was quick to explain. âWeâre all human, motivated by our needs. Life is just easier if weâre aware of them, thatâs all. Surely the psychology major in you would agree?â
Philâs humbling insinuations called to mind the oldest student in my assertiveness group back in Santa Monica at the Center for Womenâs LiberationâBetty. Betty had told us how sheâd finally stood her ground and demanded some time for herself away from her duties to husband and children. But when her enraged husband stomped out of the house, Betty had caved immediately and chased after him, begging him to come back and let her get supper on, supper evidently being a foolproof method for keeping a man.
âWhat should I have done?â Betty had asked me in the same defensive tone that had just escaped my mouth. âLet him leave me, me with three kids? Raise them on my own? Heâd find someone in no time, but me?â sheâd choked, âwith three kids?â
My staunch belief in my standard response: Whatâs wrong with being on your own? stuck in my throat as it dawned on me that I knew nothing of husbands and children to support. How could I help Betty? Iâd wondered. The first gray area in my tidy, independent, adult life had penetrated my assumptions.
An equally murky area now spread out before me. Why did I join so many causes? To belong, of course. To belong.
ââLeave the world better than I found it.ââ William mimicked me as if reading my thoughts. âWhat a load of ... of hooey.â He rose, along with his indignation. âYou really believe your own rationalizations? This feminist ...â He thrashed about for a word. â ... tirade of yours undermines the family unit upon which our entire social order depends. Good religious wives and mothers are being told by you, Kip Czermanski, to overthrow the taskmasters they married andââ
He had read my thoughts.
âNow, William,â Philomena interceded, âthatâs an oversimplification of feministââ
âYou have no idea how insidious your message is,â William thundered over Phil, âhow it seeps into womenâs consciousness until they feel they must rebel, though theyâre rebelling against the life they chose.
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